Reinventing Myself

It's no secret to anyone I don't like my appearance. At all.
So I'm trying this time. I have dropped the weight. I have the hair, and in the right colour too. My complexion has cleared up to a point that it hasn't been this good since before puberty. I have everything going for me now, so maybe it's time I start caring about how I look. Not that I didn't before... but this time I want to be one of those girls who are in control of how they look with so little effort. Though it will take a great effort for me to even get halfway there, heh.
Still. I'm going to try, for real this time.

I watched a movie with Greta Garbo earlier, "Anna Karenina". Actually, it's the first movie with her I have ever seen. Of course I knew who she was, how she looked and so on, but I've only seen her in still photographs. ... and I loved her. Really. She's got true starquality. It wasn't just about looks with her, because sure, she's got that gorgeous classic look I could die for, but there was something more. It was like whenever she appeared in a room every other actor seemed to blend into the background until she directed her attention to them. It was truly amazing.
I think I have myself a rolemodel for the first time in my life. A conscious one that is, considering I grew up actually admiring people like Traci Lords, Pamela Anderson and Christina Applegate while she was still with the Bundy's. >_< I still admire Traci Lords, but for other reasons and not so much as a rolemodel-type. (... weird how they're all blondes, huh?) But seeing Garbo I felt that I want to be like her. She's graceful, timeless, beautiful, lovely, respected and simply... flawless. I want that, but I cannot carry it the same way she does. Thus my struggle to achieve such perfection is most likely doomed from the very beginning. Although that doesn't mean that I won't try. There's no harm in trying and who knows? Maybe something good might come from it.