Concerning Breasts.

It is always hard to realize things about yourself, especially when one is as me. But this time it feels even harder.
I have grown to have somewhat of a positive attitude about my looks. Compared to before, that is. See, I know I'm not exactly pretty, but I'm fairly convinced that I am somewhere above average. I would in no way refer to myself as ugly because even though it feels that way at times, I know there are those who have it worse than me.
But I always had one thing going for me, and one thing only. I have reeeeeally nice boobs. I've had boobs since I was eight, and as some of you know it's not always a good thing. You see, I was also a reeeeally ugly kid. I would pick on me myself if it wasn't for the fact that, well... I am me. Seriously. I was that ugly. And I was told so everyday. In fact, the only thing ever appreciated was the fact that I have a relatively large bosom. So I have taken so much pride in them, because they're pretty much one of the very few things, if not the only, I like about myself. When it turns out that others also liked them, I took even more pride in them.
Yes, I know I should have a wee bit more confidence and I know I'm being far too honest in public right now. But here's the thing.
Due to certain circumstances in my life at current, I have lost a lot of weight. I've been wanting to, since I gained a lot of weight a while ago that I haven't really been able to lose. But losing weight means fat reduction. And what's the main thing on a woman's body that consist mostly out fat? That's right. Breasts.
I've been feeling uncomfortable with myself, more so than usual, for a couple of weeks now without being able to pinpoint why. Now I know. My breasts have gotten smaller. Not small (in other people's opinion), but smaller. And I don't really have proof since I haven't worn a bra in like... weeks. But I can feel it. Sense it, if you will. They're not weighing me down as much. They feel so... different. And I reeeeeally don't like it.
Because... if you take away my boobs, then I have nothing left at all going for my looks. I know, I know, it's wrong to put so much of my confidence in one thing, but they really have been my pride since I first got them. Not because of others, but because - I - love them. Honestly, there's no part of my body I feel so comfortable with as them. Always have been. Coming from me, that's a lot, because I have a real low self-esteem. So low it's more often self-loathing than self-esteem. Even more so now, heh.
And it's weird to think, since I've complained so much about it, but I would actually rather gain weight again than lose them.

Once again, I have no idea why I write about this. I mean, first of all, why would anyone want to read about my breasts when they're shrinking? Otherwise, anyone would be happy reading about them since my breasts are so awesome. I mean, seriously. My boobs rock. Second of all, self-pity is never appreciated, which I would say this is a lot of. And I really don't want to talk about it, so if anyone of you write anything encouraging, attempted flattery or just...anything, I will probably end up erasing it. So just pretend you never read this so I can get it out of my system without talking about it.